I separated from my ex for good in early 2018. Over the course of the 11 year relationship, during which we had three children, my ex left us on a couple of occasions for periods of approximately 9 months. During these periods, he made it clear that if I were to go to child support, there would be consequences. To ensure that I could still access FTB payments, I informed them that I was receiving privately collected child support, although I never received a single dollar. He would gloat about the child support rate being so low anyway that it was negligible (due to his job instability and CSA calculating payments based on previous years which for him, happened to be times where he was out of work). He would argue that since I was the one with consistent work and receiving government support  (FTB), that the costs of raising our children should be my responsibility, even though at this time he had found work and was earning a consistent full time income (compared to my part time income).

Following our final separation in 2018, I went to child support to arrange formal collection. I was afraid of the consequences of doing this. He would do things like key my car and damage other property to hurt me financially. My ex never lodged tax returns, lied about his share of care and worked cash jobs to avoid paying child support. When I called CSA some months later to advise that I had 100% care and that there were domestic violence orders in place reflecting this, they said that they would not change the percentage of care shown on their systems as it ‘didn’t affect the rate of payments anyway’.  This was eventually changed only due to his imprisonment some time later. Since being released from jail, I have been receiving payments at a minimum rate of $18 per fortnight for three children. 

I know that my ex is working for family and is lying about his income. I don’t rely on child support and I never try to have the matter followed up or investigated. This is because I am just so grateful that my children have been able to live safe, consistent and joyful lives for the past 7 years – free from any involvement from him, despite no formal custody orders in place (which is a whole other issue – not being able to get full legal custody despite an extensive history of documented domestic violence and imprisonment for dangerous crimes). I genuinely fear for their lives should they ever be in his care and thus, I would forgo any financial assistance to avoid ever provoking that from occurring. 

That is the reality of the current system. Simply holding out and managing until my children are all 18 – despite the fact that I am the one doing everything right and providing for our children, managing study, work and raising three children concurrently.

– A mother who wants more for her children and for the women of Australia.

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At Fix Child Support, we acknowledge the strength and courage of those who share their personal experiences. These stories shed light on the challenges faced by many in the child support system, and we are committed to amplifying these voices in the fight for reform. If you would like to share your story with us, please email us!